Depression

“Pain insists on being attended to.”
~C.S. Lewis

Symptoms of depression include:
Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A bleak outlook—nothing will ever get better and there’s nothing you can do to improve your situation.
Loss of interest in daily activities. You don’t care anymore about former hobbies, pastimes, social activities, or sex. You’ve lost your ability to feel joy and pleasure.
Appetite or weight changes. Significant weight loss or weight gain—a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.
Sleep changes. Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping.
Anger or irritability. Feeling agitated, restless, or even violent. Your tolerance level is low, your temper short, and everything and everyone gets on your nerves.
Loss of energy. Feeling fatigued, sluggish, and physically drained. Your whole body may feel heavy, and even small tasks are exhausting or take longer to complete.
Self-loathing. Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. You harshly criticize yourself for perceived faults and mistakes.
Reckless behavior. You engage in escapist behavior such as substance abuse, compulsive gambling, reckless driving, or dangerous sports.
Concentration problems. Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.
Unexplained aches and pains. An increase in physical complaints such as headaches, back pain, aching muscles, and stomach pain.

 

Become aware of recurrent beliefs contributing to anxiety, depression, and traumatic stress.

Examples include:

Responsibility
I am a bad person
I don’t deserve love
I am worthless
I am shameful
I am not lovable
I am not good enough
I am permanently damaged
I am ugly
I am not smart enough
I am insignificant
I am a disappointment
I deserve to die
I deserve to be miserable
I don’t belong
I did something wrong
I should have done something

Safety
I cannot trust myself
I cannot be trusted
I cannot trust anyone
I cannot protect myself
I am in danger
It is not okay to feel/show emotion
I cannot stand up for myself
I cannot let it out

Control
I am not in control
I am powerless/helpless
I am weak
I cannot get what I want
I am a failure/will fail
I cannot succeed
I have to be perfect
I have to please everyone

Depression can be maintained by belief, and by emotion suppressed.

Addictions, hard and soft, can give us temporary reliefs from the pain. They soothe and distract.

There can be overlap with depression and grief. Become aware of the stages of grief, including shock/denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Grief is nonlinear. We can loop back into anger or sadness, even after seemingly coming to terms with a loss.

Guilt, a belief, a judgement against oneself, can also be part of grief.

We lose many things as we go through life, including people, pets, belongings, jobs, homes, and beliefs.

Acceptance, not approval of, but acknowledgment of what is, and allowing the sadness, is a big part of recovery.

 

“You see everything is about belief, whatever we believe rules our existence, rules our life.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz